Too many information marketers are making the same stupid mistake. Seconds after you arrive at their site, a pop-up (or slide-in) window appears, asking you to fork over your precious contact information. Hey man, I don’t even know you.

Just like in comedy, the secret is… (one, two, three) timing. Why would I be willing to fill out your form when you haven’t even given me a chance to read anything yet! I don’t know you, how good you are, or whether your expertise is even relevant to the problem I’m trying to solve. Back off, Jack.

Imagine a guy walking up to a good looking woman at a party or bar. Instead of saying hello and getting acquainted, he immediately says, “Please give me your name, e-mail address, and maybe your phone number too, while you’re at it.” The fact that you would even ask for that kind of intimate information before you’ve established any kind of relationship makes you seem a little, well… creepy. It’s annoying and off-putting.

Business owners and marketers: Don’t be a victim of “premature e-POP-ulation.” Get to know your website visitors a little before you ask them if you can contact them. Otherwise they’re going to look for someone who’s not so pushy.

You could practically hear poor Seth Godin’s teeth grinding Sunday when he wrote about a recent agonizing encounter with corporate voice mail. You know the drill: you finally work your way through four or five menus, then end up with a recording, “Sorry, we’re closed.”

No human employee could get away with that kind of behavior. It’s like slapping a customer across the mouth, then slamming the door in their face.

Suppose an employee pulled this kind of stuff every day? asks Seth:

• Puts up a sign indicating which of five doors customers should use.
• Locks that door.
• Randomly unlocks another door.
• When someone figures out which door to use, he runs out and kicks them in the groin, then locks the door.”

How long would it take you to fire that clown?

But hiring human beings to answer the phone isn’t always the best answer, unfortunately. A few years ago a company I worked with decided to go “customer-friendly” and finally got rid of their (terrible) voice mail system.

Result: It took 3-5x longer to get through to your party with the human operator than the old VM system.

Like they say, be careful what you wish for…

I’m a big fan of intelligent marketing. You know, giving the customer credit for being intelligent, not treating him/her like a total dunce. And using facts and information to make a persuasive case for why you should buy.

I hate ads that are annoying, intrusive and insulting. (Just like you, I suspect.) So I was delighted when PC World recently spotlighted the Ten Most Annoying, Frustrating, Irritating, and Sinister Online Ads. Author Tom Spring nails ‘em:

“Some of these ads flash, blink, vibrate, and somersault around your browser window. Others expand, pop open a window (even if you have a pop-up blocker), and play sounds or video. The most sinister don’t appear to do anything at all and quietly attempt to hijack your PC.”

Call me old fashioned, but pissing off prospects doesn’t seem like a smart way to do business. Sure, you might lure in a few suckers — once — but it’s no way to build a long-term relationship.

The article even has the guts to mention annoying ads on their own website.

“I asked one advertising insider (who didn’t want to be identified) if he would confirm my suspicion that some advertisers intentionally make it impossible to find the Close button. His response? ‘Of course they do. These advertisers know they are getting away with something. And that ’something’ is not about making your life easier.’”

That’s why I urge my clients to attract clients by offering them information of value — rather than using old-fashioned marketing tricks. Would-be customers want to study and learn what makes one product or service better than its competitors. And the closer they are to a buying decision, the more eager they are to learn, and the more details they want. After all, their goal is to make a decision, place their order, and move on to the next thing. Why not give them the facts and figures they want?

PS: If you use Firefox with the AdBlock Plus extension, you may never even have seen these aggravating ads. (grin)

First, Sun State Credit Union in Gainesville started charging customers two bucks if they had the gall to enter one of their branches more than four times a month. (Heaven forbid you actually encourage customers to come in and give you their money.)

Sun State may also fine you $2 if you don’t have your deposit slip ready when you pull up to the drive-through window. “I was outraged,” said Gainesville resident Karen Soesbe, who got smacked with the fee. via Consumerist

“It’s not a lot of money. I know that. But to be charged $2 just for not having your bank slip at the drive-through teller just seems wrong.”

It’s fair and perfectly legal, insists Sun State CEO Jim Woodward. Besides, he says, everybody does it. “If you look at our competition, you’d see that the fees we’re charging are fair, based on what’s going on in the market right now.”

In other words, it’s OK because everybody’s reaming their customers.

Consumer advocate Ed Mierzwinski of the Florida Public Interest Research Group agrees that the fees aren’t illegal. Actually, financial institutions use them as a profit center.

“Primarily banks, but also credit unions, have a three-part strategy to increase their fee income. They raise existing fees, make it harder to avoid fees and invent new fees. Pretty soon, the way things are going, people (will be charged) to breathe the air in the bank or credit union.”

Banks, credit unions, financial institutions of all kinds give lip service to how much they love their customers, yet they keep slamming us with ridiculous, user-unfriendly fees buried in the fine print of multi-page disclosure agreements.

If I was a member of that credit union, I’d close my account in a flash — and tell all my friends about the shabby treatment I received. (Actually, I do belong to a credit union because it charges fewer fees, among other reasons. Come to think of it, mine once slapped me with a $35 fee for covering a $2 overdraft. Talk about a profit center!)

If a company treats you badly, vote with your feet, people. Take your dollars somewhere else. Financial services is a highly competitive sector. There are lots of other banks around.

Business owners: Want to attract lots of customers? It ain’t rocket science. Respect your customers. Treat them right. Be fair. Good customer service is rare these days. To get ahead, become the exception. The company that customers rave about. Do away with user-unfriendly practices, like predatory bank fees. They may fatten your purse this quarter, but over the long run they tarnish your reputation.

Eventually your company becomes the one that pays the price.